An Empty victory (and a Half-Empty one too)

A mixed weekend of cricket for the Hillers this with the Men’s 2s continuing on their winning way, the Women’s 2s clocking up their first victory of the season and the Men’s 1s falling agonisingly short in controversial circumstances against Northcote United.

WOMEN’S 2nd XI v COBURG at Hilly Long Grass Oval (not its official name)
Match Report by Rebekah Drake (As Seinfeld would say, “Love the Drake!”)

The Women’s Team 2nd XI made the trip to Coburg and were greeted with an oval full of hills and long grass. Having lost the toss, we were sent in to bat.

Our openers, Rachael “Razzle” Jones and Bec “B2” Troon quickly learned just how slow the outfield was. Balls that were usually four were only singles and there was a lot of running in the hot weather. The opening partnership was going along nicely, before B2’s eyes lit up for a big shot, which she missed and was bowled. Bec “B Cats” Catterwell made a single, before she was dismissed in a similar fashion. Rachel “Greyhound” Gray came in, and it happened again, but unfortunately it was a duck this time. Bek “Bobbie” Drake went to the middle and steadied the ship. It was slow but sure, before Razzle got out LBW for 13. Emily “Dominos” Costigan came to the crease and combine with Bobbie, running well before also being trapped LBW. Amy “Wolfie” Howell then joined Bobbie at the crease. Wolfie got her eye in quickly and managed the only 4 of the innings.

There were some lovely shots played, though many slowing for singles. Bobbie was tiring and decided she had to try and go big. She then played what she described as the best shot of her career, playing the ball straight and in the air - a four on any ground but this one, as she scampered back for two. The very next ball was a brain fade and Bobbie was bowled for 21, having combined with Wolfie for a 38 run partnership. Wolfie continued on with Jessica “Nan” Aldridge, as they kept pushing the singles, before Nan was run out for four. Hannah “Nellie” Gray joined Wolfie at the crease, and they again continued with the singles before Wolfie was caught behind in the final over, for a very well made 28. As it was the last over, Simona Gory came out swinging, but unfortunately got bowled. Di Christensen came in as our last batter with two balls to go. She kept the first one out, but missed the second. Showing game smarts, Nellie tried to run on the last ball, but got run out for two. All out on the final ball of the innings, we made 104.

We knew, with the slow pace of the outfield and a strong bowling attack, it would be a defendable total. Dominos and Wolfie opened the bowling, with their accuracy meaning Coburg were immediately on the ropes. The pressure continued when Razzle came on in the fifth over, and some sensational fielding by B Cats caused a run out. Razzle continued to dazzle after the change of ends, before Nan came in to the attack and got a brilliant caught and bowled in her first over. Razzle joined the wicket action, with a sensational catch taken by Nellie. In came their big hitter. Even with the slow outfield, she managed a couple of boundaries and we were getting worried. Do you know who wasn’t getting worried? The Gray sisters. Nellie bowled a lovely straight ball, forcing the big hitter to play a shot she didn’t want to play. In came Greyhound with a perfectly executed catch and Nellie had her first ever wicket!

We knew we were getting close to the tail end, we didn’t have a lot of runs to play with. Some tight bowling was needed, and Laila “Electric Train” Rae was up to the task. Extracting some extraordinary swing, she also managed her maiden wicket for the Hill, with a lovely catch taken by B2. Not long later, Electric Train followed it up with another wicket LBW. Our fielding was sensational, with Di and Simona stopping many runs with their quick reflexes, while Greyhound and Dominos ran hard in the field, stopping the twos. Having continued with the pressure, we had Coburg requiring 18 runs off the final six overs with four wickets in hand. Wolfie bowled the first of six, with two runs coming off the over and, more importantly, she finally got out the opening batter, caught by Bobbie. 5 overs, Coburg required 16 runs. Razzle bowled a sensational over, with only 1 off it. 4 overs, 15 runs. Wolfie bowled a maiden. 3 overs, 15 runs. Razzle bowled, 1 off it. 2 overs, 14 runs. Nan came in, 2 runs off the over and a wicket, with Greyhound taking yet another catch. 1 over, 12 runs. We were feeling good, but still a bit nervous. We needn’t have worried, with Wolfie bowling a double wicket maiden, to have Coburg all out for 92 on the final ball of the innings.

Beautiful bowling figures: Wolfie 3/17 off 9, Razzle 1/10 off 9, Dominos 0/14 off 2.4, Nan 2/20 off 5, Nellie 1/16 off 5, Electric Train 2/11 off 5.4

The Hillers had their first win of the season (apart from a forfeit, but this definitely felt better than that)!

CHICKEN: We had a tie for the Chicken, Nellie and Electric Train, for their brilliant bowling and both getting their first wicket for the Hill!

KILLER HILLER MOMENT: You couldn’t go past the Gray sisters proving sistuition is a thing, with Greyhound being in the exact right place to take the catch for Nellie’s first ever wicket - how Grayt!

VETS OVER 40s v Hawthorn at Rammo — JUST FOXING
Match report by Tony Peake

The final round before finals(!?!), saw the good guys from Ramo take on our friends from Hawthorn, and likely opponents in next week’s semi-final.

After winning the toss, the Hillers sent Hawthorn in for a bat. Tight bowling and regular wickets had them at 5/78 at the halfway mark. As things do on a hot day, runs flowed more freely as the aged bowlers sweated, and everyone sweated as we used 10 bowlers! But a good end saw Hawthorn finish on 8/178 off their 36 overs. Bowling highlights were Craig Fryers 3/25, Dave Burgess 1/20 (and three catches), and Daisy Mobilia 1/36.

In reply, the Hillers’ batting featured two things - consistently free flowing runs and consistent wickets. Two workmen like innings stood out - 36 from Jonesy and 36 from Benny Bruscella.

It came down to the Hillers needing 10 runs or Hawthorn needing one wicket off the final over. Let’s just say, cricket was the winner (and not the Hillers).

So on to the semi-final next week, but now at least we have some good intel (whilst not being overly intelligent as a group).

CHICKEN: The chicken goes to Benny B for a warrior-like effort keeping and batting.

KILLER HILLER MOMENT: Renamed in the vets by Peakey to the very apt “Senior’s Moment”, in round 5 it belongs to Dave Burgess. After not playing cricket for a few years, and claiming to have never taken a catch, Dave Burgess proved to be safe as houses, taking 3.

MEN’S 4th XI v STC SOUTH CAMBERWELL at COOPER RESERVE: EMPTY WAS SUPER DOOPER AT COOPER

The 4s headed out to Cooper Reserve to take on STC South Camberwell — aka STCSCCC (see?) — and bowled first. Great spells from the two opening bowlers, Action Man ands Naj, kept the runs down early and built some great pressure on their batters. Action took 1/17 off his 5, and while Naj was wicketless, he conceded just 11 runs in 6 overs, a great effort in a one-dayer. Captain Jack came on to take 2/23 off 6 but the superstar with the ball was Empty Lanning, with a magnificent 4/17 off 6.

Roadie and Rhino continued their great form, putting on 42 to open the chase. Rhino was out for 25 but Roadie made another retired 50. Naj (13) and Brother (29) helped things along but then a bunch of wickets tumbled, putting us “behind the black ball”, as Billy ABC would say.

Enter Andrew “Empty” Lanning. Having done the job with the ball, he smashed somw quick runs to turn the game back our way. With 8 wickets down and one ball remaining, Empty was on strike and we needed one run to win. A push for a single would have done the job, but Empty doesn’t do things by halves. He smashed a boundary to give us the win!

CHICKEN: Reliable Roadie gets the Roast

KILLER HILLER MOMENT: It has to be Empty’s last-ball shot to clinch the win.

MEN’S 6th XI v TOORAK-PRAHRAN at FAIRLEA EAST: SIX(ths) AND (RUN) OUT

Billy’s boys were at home to TPCC and Billy kept up his form with the coin, losing another toss. We bowled first and excellent spells from Ted W-J (2/24 off 7) and Big Max Sundram (3/29 off 7) had them on the ropes at 5/57. But despite more good bowling from Boggle (1/19 off 4) TPCC got away from us to make 8/196.

A great 50 not out from Brocky got the chase off to a good start but wickets, including three run-outs, fell too regularly after that and we fell a long way short, finishing on 8/135, despite even contributions — and I mean literally even, in the numerical sense— from Andrew Starkey (12), Hugo (12), Suvra (14) and Ralph (16).

CHICKEN: Brocky gets the chocky — I mean chicken — for his fine 50.

KILLER HILLER MOMENT: Three of them, all run-outs. Nothing kills a team’s chances quicker than a hat-trick of run-outs.

MEN’S 1st XI v NORTHCOTE UNITED at Alphington Park: GOOD SPORTS?

And speaking of run-outs, our Men’s 1s ran out of luck this week and it could be argued that our opposition ran out of sportsmanship.

Bowling first we had NU in heaps of trouble at 5/17, thanks to a devastating spell from Jim Wright (4/23 off 8) and great bowling from J-Ho II (Jamie Holton, 1/5 off 5). More good bowling game from Wardi (2/16 off 6) and Cottsy (2/37 off 7.3) but NU recovered somewhat to finish all out for 141.

In the chase we lost last week’s hero Sam Barrett early but Cottsy and BenCap took us along to 32 before Ben Caplikas became Ben Capitulatas, throwing his wicket away. Matty Lynas looked very good for 18 until he was unluckily caught by a one-handed screamer. We then lost T-Rob and Kyle quickly and were 6/80 when Cottsy was out for 29.

Hugh, with a top score of 35, and Zaj (15) took us to within sight of a win until Zaj was run out MANKAD style at the bowlers end. This did not go down well. We continued to edge closer but ended up two runs short of NU’s total.

CHICKEN: Jimmy Wright for his 4-fa.

KILLER HILLER MOMENT: Jim Wright taking his fourth wicket to reduce NU to 5/17.

MEN’S 5th XI v NORTHCOTE UNITED at FAIRLEA WEST: FIVES TAKE A DIVE

We bowled first and managed to take just two wickets as NU made 2/196. The bowlers all struggled, except, that is for one Lachie Muraca, who was magnificent in taking 1/9 off 6 overs. Brilliant stuff.

The run-chase was marred by what seemed to mar all of our men’s sides this week — run-outs. The victims in this match were Jonesy (14) and Hodgey senior, aka P-Ho, pronounced “pho” if you’re feeling hungry (13)". Jacko fell one short of another 50, while Lachie was looking good for 13 before an ankle injury forced him to retire hurt.

In the end, we fell 32 short, making 8/164.

CHICKEN: Lachie Muraca, for his bowling and his batting, clocks up another chicken. For a brief time in my early days at the club I was given the name ‘Chicken Man’ by Rocket Rod Peterson (after I won a couple). It might now be time to rename Lachie ‘Chicken Boy’.

KILLER HILLER MOMENT: More bad KHMs — Jonesy getting run out, then Hodgey going the same way. Bloody run-outs!

MEN’S 2nd XI v NORTHCOTE at RAMMO: THANKS TO RUN-OUTS WE NEARLY RAN OUT OF WICKETS

The 2s were on the way to replaying their first 8 games this summer, bowling first and dismissing NU for a low total of 93, thanks to Lanno (2/21 off 6), Joel (3/29 off 8), Pablo (2/4 off 3), Lou B (2/24 off 8), Jonesy Junior (1/3 off 0.5) and Monty (0/12 off 8).

What should have been an easy chase was made difficult by not one, not two, not three but FOUR run-outs! What is going on out their, fellas?!?

Anyway, thanks to Jake Castelow (39) and Half-Empty hitting the winnings runs, we sneaked home by 2 wickets.

CHICKEN: Joel Clark with a 3-fa gets the poultry.

KILLER HILLER MOMENT: Stan Mills only made 12, but 6 of those came with an ABSOLUTE BOMB that almost landed on the club-room roof.

VETS OVER 50s v EDINBURGH at FAIRLEA WEST: ALL OVER FOR THE OVER 50s

Ralph’s Rebels batted first against Edinburgh in the local derby but we could only muster 128 in our 36 overs, despite 24 each from the skipper and Craig Harris, and a nice cameo of 17 by Percy Harrison before he was — YOU GUESSED IT — run out!

Edinburgh got the runs 3 down, but Kevin Moore (1/17 off 5) and Gerard Grant (1/5 off 1) bowled well.

CHICKEN: For both making 24, Ralph and Craig get half a chicken (and chips) each.

MEN’S 3rd XI v GLEN WAVERLEY at BRENTWOOD: GREAT BATTING BY BENNY B BUT WE STILL GOT BENNY BEATEN

Batting first at the big ground at Brentwood, we lost three early wickets but Dan Castelow, who moved one step closer to earning the title, “The Better Castelow” (even though Jake made 39), making 29 and a brilliant 73 from Benny Bruscella, we compiled 5/155.

Daisy (3/32 off 8) and Nails (2/28 off 7) had us back in the hunt as GW slipped to 4/52, but they ended up sneaking home 7 down, despite more good bowling from AJ (0/16 off 8) and Chiky (0/27 off 8).

CHICKEN: Benny B for his 73 and excellent keeping.

KILLER HILLER MOMENT: The Killer Hiller Moment was the entire batting innings, because by some miracle, NO ONE IN THE 3s GOT RUNOUT!

WOMEN’S 1st XI v NOBODY at NOWHERE

No match report because the Women’s 1s had the bye

CHICKEN: Another chicken’s life saved, thanks to the bye.

KILLER HILLER MOMENT: The moment that chicken realised its life had been spared.

THE TOM BELLIS AWARD

The ageless Andrew Lanning — aka EMPTY — gets the TOM BELLIS for his 4/17 and match-winning quickfire innings.

Jeez, Empty, you looked like you've LOST the match on the last ball, not WON it!