(2 x) 2 out of 3 ain’t bad!

With the CHCC women’s teams already on their Christmas break, the men’s teams played their last games before the break on Saturday, with 2 of the 1s/2s/3s teams winning, and 2 of the 4s/5s/6s teams winning. 4 out of 6 is pretty good, or to put it in terms a mathematically-minded Meat Loaf might understand, (2 x) 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.

MEN’s 6th XI v Heathmont at H E Parker Reserve — THE RATH OF SAM

Billy’s Boys ventured out to the leafy green Heathmont to take on the locals. Billy won the toss and batted, something he would normally do when winning the toss, but he was particularly pleased to be able to do so this week because only of the team had turned up when he tossed.

Eventually the stragglers arrived and Alex Smith teamed up with Luke Williams, playing his first game of 2021/22 to open the batting. Luke fell for nine but Alex smashed his way to an unbeaten 50, setting up a 35-over total of 161. He got solid support from Suvra (18), Hugo (19) and two pretty inclusions to the team — Paddy Rath (14) and Sam Hodder (15).

Heathmont began their chase well, and were 1/74 when Luke Williams snared their top-scorer for 41, the wickets began to tumble. Paddy Rath chipped in with a couple and then Alex Smith – star with the bat — became Alex Smith — star with the ball, grabbing 3/15 off his seven overs. Heathmont struggled to 9/133, giving us a 28-run win. Paddy finished with 2/19 before taking the gloves, while Suvra (1/12 off 4), Luke (1/39 off 7) and Sam (1/10 off 2) all contributed with the ball.

Well done Billy’s Boys!

CHICKEN: The chicken goes to the country bumpkin himself, Alex Smith, for his 50no and 3-fa.

KILLER HILLER MOMENT: Billy winning the toss was probably the Killer Hiller moment. If he’d lost it we’d have taken the field with about five players!

MEN’s 4th XI v Monash Uni at Fairlea East — STUDENTS GET A LESSON IN CRICKET

I headed on over to Fairlea East at about 3:30 on Saturday arvo with the intention of taking some photos of the 4ths doing their thing but it turned out they’d already done their thing by then and all I could do was wave at them as they drove out of Fairlea as I drove in.

What I missed was us bowling first and demolishing Monash for 78. Incredibly, Gaz had won the toss and bowled first, despite Paul Connors being in the team! Chuck must have gone in search of a grave to jump into and spin in when he heard the news but he got over his grief to be the star bowler, taking 4/6 in 5.2 overs of masterly spin.

As good as Chuck’s figures were, he said the best bowler of the innings was Lachie Muraca, who bowled an incredible five consecutive maidens to start his spell of, his figures only getting spoiled when Empty let one through in the field which went for four. I hope Lachie gave Empty the death stare — we’ve all been on the receiving end of one from Empty!

Declan Niere (2/12 off 6), Empty himself (1/24 off 7) and Roadie (1/2 off 4) also bowled beautiful. Eddie’s figures of 0/14 of 3 don’t really warrant a mention but I have mentioned him now so I guess I’m too late.

We made short work of the target of 79, with Cal Behmer (31) and Declan Harding (35) getting us almost all the way home before both fell just before we passed them.

So the game was a lesson in cricket for Monash Uni and a lesson in arriving early for me.

CHICKEN: Lachie Muraca for his figures of 1/6 off 6, which would have been 1/2 off 6 if not for Empty’s misfield.

KILLER HILLER MOMENT: A toss-up between me arriving as the team was leaving and Empty’s figures-ruining misfield.

MEN’s 1st XI v TPCC at Orrong Park — HILLERS GET IT RIGHT AT ORRONG

The 1s went into this match in danger of going to the Christmas break without a win and things did not start well, with TPCC winning the toss and batting. But a Benny Levens beauty turned things around immediately, as he got one through the gate to leave TPCC at 1/0. TPCC got a couple of partnerships going after that but we knocked ‘em over for 165 with a wonderfully even bowling performance, evidenced by these figures: Stinga Barrett 2/21 off 6.2, Benny Lev 2/32 off 7, Malty 2/41 off 8, Cottsy 1/12 off 4, Monty 1/23 off 5 and Wardi 1/33 off 7.

In the chase we lost Hugh for a duck, and Cottsy, Kyle and T-Rob pretty early to slump to 4/41 but Ben Cap(tain)likas and Malty took us through to 114 before BenCap fell for a fine 50. Malty carried on to make 56 not out and, helped out by the second-best bloke at the club to have an A, a C and a Z in his surname (Nick Zajac, 29no), got the 1s home to victory.

A Christmas miracle! Well done lads.

CHICKEN: BenCap for his captain’s half-century.

KILLER HILLER MOMENT: Cottsy for once had limited impact with the bat (out for 4) but he made up for it in a big way when given control of the Orrong Park electronic scoreboard. Cottsy used every sound effect possible to mark each boundary one of our blokes hit.

MEN’S 3rd XI v Boroondara at Fairlea West — PRESSURE MOUNTS ON HARRO (or DOWN AND OUT AT FAIRLEA WEST)

The 3s, fresh off their first win of the season under stand-in captain Nails (Jesse Parlane), welcomed back regular skipper Harro (Brett Harrison) from a knee injury. Harro justified his reclamation of the captaincy by winning the toss and we batted first at Fairlea against Boroondara.

Unfortunately we got off to a bad start with Tim Neal and Jack Speed both falling for ducks, and when run machine Benny B (13) got skittled by one that kept low we were 3/21 and up against it.

Another run machine — Adam Lewis — helped to get things back on track with a good-looking 19 before he unfortunately ran himself out.

We were 6/66 and having a devil of a time when the Pres went out but Harro (25) and Daisy (Damian Mobilia, 28) rescued the innings ands we managed to scrape together a defendable total of 141.

Boroondara lost regular wickets from the beginning and slumped to 7/86, and we were looking good for a second consecutive win. Unfortunately we could not break through for an eighth wicket and Boroondara sneaked home for a narrow win, despite a magnificent spell of bowling from Daisy (3/5 off 8 overs).

That leaves the 3s 1-4 heading into the Christmas break or, to be more specific, 1 win when Nails has captained and 4 losses when Harro has captained. Could there be a Christmas coup coming?

CHICKEN: He almost got us over the line single-handedly, so Daisy is a worthy recipient of the Christmas chook.

KILLER HILLER MOMENT: Daisy again. He took a brilliant one-handed caught and bowled and then dropped a sitter the very next ball, thus denying himself the chance to be on a very rare caught-and-bowled hat-trick.

MEN’s 2nd XI v TPCC at Rammo — TWO (WORTHOS) FOR THE PRICE OF ONE

Business as usual for the 2s, i.e. we bowled first, dismissed the opposition cheaply and then chased down the runs.

There were, however, some unusual aspects to this win:
1. We didn’t win the toss and bowl; we LOST the toss and bowled. Maybe not a good decision, TPCC skipper.
2. Jake Castelow was a very late withdrawal due to illness (self-inflicted I’ve heard) and so Marshall Worthington (father of Micah) stepped up to the plate (sort of, at least; it’s cricket, not baseball). And I fine job he did, too, with nothing getting past him in the field and he was fully vocal in support of his teammates, too. Not bad for a 71-year-old!
3. We actually lost six wickets in the chase, making it almost uncomfortable.

Well bowled: Mike Jones (3/25 off 6), Lou McGlade (or McWade, if the scorebook is to be believed, 2/25 off 8), Jim Wright (2/30 off 8), Half-Empty (1/14 off 8) and Joel Clark (1/28 off 8).

Well batted: M Wortho Junior (39), Lenny Dean (33no opening the batting), Mike Jones (23) and Joel Clark (12)

Well fielded: M Wortho Senior

CHICKEN: A split decision — M Jones for his all-round effort, and Lenny Dean, who kept his nerve and his wicket as others around him lost theirs, and effected a great run-out.

KILLER HILLER MOMENT: Every moment Wortho Senior was out on the field. He was a full team player, he did not let one ball through in the field and he did not die.

MEN’s 5th XI v Trinity Willison at Leigh Park* — SNATCHING DEFEAT FROM THE JAWS OF VICTORY

There was a sense of business as usual about the 6s, too — at least to start with. Jonesy captained the side with Simon S out of the team (rested) and he led from the front with that bat, smashing an amazing 112 not out. With back up from Jimmy E With Only One T (Jim Entwisle, 59), Jacko (23) and Stan (20no), we put together a huge score of 2/249.

That’s enough for a crushing win, right. Um… er… no, not right. TW went nuts with the bat and despite a magnificent spell of bowling from Stan (2/14 off 7), they smashed us all over the park to win by seven wickets with eight balls to spare.

CHICKEN: Another chook for Jonesy. He’s gonna have to get a bigger pen.

KILLER HILLER MOMENT: Jonesy dominates the KHM as well, for (a) putting a catch down that I’m told bounced out of his guts and (b) making up for it soon after with a catch diving forward to dismiss the bloke who threatened to beat his 112. Jonesy’s catch meant he only made 109.

*Not to be confused with movie critic Leigh Paatsch. I wonder how many stars he would have given Jonesy’s innings.

THE TOM BELLIS AWARD

This week’s worthy winner is Malty Lynas, whose batting and bowling was an integral part of the 1s getting their first win of the season.