Lachie New Year, everyone!
A stuttering start to the new year at the Hill, thanks to out old friend COVID-19. Four of our six senior men’s sides got a game in, but both women’s games were called off. Thanks Omicron — NOT!
Men’s 4th XI v Mulgrave (Sunday) at Fairlea East — Muraca Miracle on Fairlea East
On Saturday our 4s played Mulgrave Sunday (presumably a team of time lords) with Dog taken the captaincy reins as regular skipper Gaz watched on with a sore back.
At the toss Dog called heads but it came down tails — or maybe he called tails and it came down heads. Who knows? The important thing is that he lost the toss and we batted first. Dog himself made 33 (which, given I was born on 3/3 at 3:33pm weighing 3.3kg, made me happy). He and Rhino (20), The Pres (26) and Cal “Don’t Bowl A” Behmer (13) ensured we set down a solid platform for Harro (down from the 3s) to go nuts, and go nuts he did. He finished with 55 and we finished with 187 all out with Lachie Muraca on 3 not out, left stranded just 97 short of a century.
Jesse Parlane (0/10 off 5), AJ (2/11 off 5) and Empty (2/13 off 5) made sure Mulgrave Sunday’s chase did not start well and then Lachie Muraca took over, taking a brilliant 5/17 off 5 to destroy the opposition. In fact his repeat blows pretty much knocked Mulgrave Sunday into Monday.
CHICKEN: Dog’s 33 gets him the chicken.
KILLER HILLER MOMENT: The Killer Hiller moment made me laugh, but probably didn’t amuse Empty. As I walked a lap of the ground I took a photo of the man in action, hoping to get a shot of him hitting the ball onto the Eastern Freeway. Empty did his best to oblige, but as you can see from his spreadeagled stumps (below), it didn’t quite work out. Sorry Empty!
Women’s 2nd XI v Nobody at Nowhere Park
As flagged above, both women’s games this week were called off, as were the Men’s 3rds and Men’s 6ths matches.
Men’s 2nd XI v St Pauls at some far-flung Eastern suburbs location - TEN QUESTIONS
The 2s played St Pauls, out at Southern Reserve, and…
Guess who won the toss? That’s right, MONTY.
Guess what Monty decided to do? That’s right, BOWL.
Guess how we went with the ball? That’s right, VERY WELL, although for a change, even though the oppo made an inadequate score, we did not get them all out.
Guess who bamboozled the opposition with his precision hypnotic bowling? That’s right, MONTY (1/20 off 8), but also Lanno (1/24 off 8), Jimmy Wright (1/19 off 7), Joel (1/23 off 5) and especially Pablo Migladez (2/13 off 8).
Guess how we did in the run chase? That’s right, very well. We passed them three down with almost nine overs to spare.
Guess who starred with the bat? That’s right, Wortho with another 46, well supported by LOC (32no), Jake (26) and the Original J-Ho (15).
Guess who got the CHICKEN? Goods question. Let me check that with Monty and get back to you?
Guess who created the KILLER HILLER MOMENT? It was the run-machine, Wortho, but he didn’t do it with the bat. Fielding on the fence, he saw what would have been a certain run-out and scored a direct hit — on the SQUARE LEG UMPIRE.
Any news on the CHICKEN? Yes, Monty informs me that Pablo Migladez (aka Lou McGlade) gets the chicken.
Anything else? No that’s it. What do you think this is — Twenty Questions?
Men’s 6th XI v No-one at Who Knows Park
Perhaps you haven’t been reading very carefully. I have already explained above that the Men’s 6s did not play this week.
Men’s 1st XI v St Pauls at Ramsden Street — DEAN JONES!
The 1s welcomed a famous sounding name into the side for the first time on Saturday — Dean Jones! It was not the sadly departed great Victoria Test batter but Lenny DEAN and Michael JONES, making their debuts at our men’s highest level.
BenCap celebrated their inclusion by winning the toss and bowling first [insert gif of Chucky turning in his grave here] and a wicket each to Stinga and Ten Eleven — I mean Benny Levens — had St Pauls at 2/39. They then put on 83 before Jamie Holton broke through to make it 3/122.
Runs kept coming but wickets began to fall thanks to that man Cottsy! He took 4/29 to help restrict St Pauls to 8/181. Benny Lev took 2/36 off his 8, and Wardi bowled magnificently, with fine figures of 0/21 off 7.
Sadly when it came to the run chase, a familiar tale unfolded. Too many players got starts and didn’t go on with it and wickets again fell in clumps (102, 104, 105). We finished well short of the target despite the best efforts of Cottsy (26), Jonesy the Younger on debut (21) and Kieren (20).
Back on the horse next week, chaps!
CHICKEN: The chicken goes to the ageless rooster, Steve Cotter. Four wickets and a top score. Well done, Cottsy!
KILLER HILLER MOMENT: Undoubtedly a highlight was Stan Mills finally facing his second ball of the season. In fact he faced 11, taking his season total to 12 which, as Benny Cap points out, works out to $30 per ball face in club subs. Good value, Stan? (They say you should put a high price on your wicket, but this is ridiculous!)
Women’s 1st XI v Invisible Opposition at Invisible Park
Look, if you’d been reading this report carefully, you’d already know that the Women’s 1s and 2s, along with the Men’s 3s and 6s, did not play this week.
Men’s 5th XI v Monash at Fairlea West — LAZY, HAZY, DAISY (MOBILIA) DAYS OF SIMMER
With Skipper Skob sidelined with COVID, Jonesy the Elder captained the 5s, winning the toss and bowling first. Our bowlers did a superb job in holding Monash to 8/102 off their 35 overs, with Daisy a star with the ball taking 3/14 off his seven. Great bowling also from Suvra (2/9 off 7), Action Man (1/16 off 6), Geoff Smith (0/11 off 5) and Hugo Northrop (0/19 off 7).
We chased down the runs with heaps of time to spare thanks to the old reliables Jonesy (51no) and Jacko (27), with Daisy chipping in with 11 no to go with this 3-fa.
CHICKEN: Excellent work from Daisy and Jonesy but for his brilliant 0/9 off 7, the chicken goes to Suvra!
VALE GILLY AND HUGO’S GRANDAD: Everyone at CHCC passes on our sincere condolences to Gilly and Hugo Northrop and their family. Gilly and Hugo wore black armbands on Saturday in honour of their grandad, who passed away recently.
Men’s 3rd XI v The Non-Existents at Null Park
Seriously, I’m starting to wonder about your comprehension skills. Go back and read this report from the start. Then you’ll know why the 3s did not play this week.
THE TOM BELLIS AWARD
Because he undoubtedly would have made a ton if he hadn’t been stranded on 3 not out, AND for his magnificent 5/17 off 5 overs, the Tom Bellis Award this week goes to LACHIE MURACA! Onya Lachie!
